1-A farmer goes into town, and purchases a rooster.

he takes it home and as soon as its out of its cage it runs into the hen house and screws every single one. The farmer, who is in shock, says "You crazy rooster, youre going to kill yourself!" As soon as hes out of the hen house, he spies a group of ducks and proceeds to screw every single one.

Not finished yet, the rooster locates a group of geese and screws every one. "Stupid rooster, youre going to kick the bucket if you dont slow down." says the farmer, then he goes inside for lunch. Later that day, he goes outside to check on the animals, and sees the rooster, dead as a doornail on his back, with a trio of buzzards circling overhead.

"Screwy animal, what did I tell you about slowing down?" Grumbles the farmer as he approaches the rooster. the rooster opens one eye and whispers" Back off man, theyre getting closer." 2- this guy walks into a bar, sits down next to this hot woman, and checks his watch.

the girl asks: are you waitng for someone? he replys: no i have a new watch, it can talk to me telepathically, she says: whats it telling you? he says: its saying oure not wearing any panties she giggles and says: well its wrong, i am wearing panties, so he hits the watch sayin, damn thing must be an hour ahead 3-A women walks into a pub and gos to the toilets 5 minutes later she comes out and gos to the bar she starts touching up the barmans facehe sais what are you doing she sais your the manager right? he sais no i just work here she sais well next time you see him tell him he needs to put some toilet paper in the girls toilets .