Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some actually joined in for fun from time to time.

So it was one day, Ethel was speeding down one corridor when a door opened and a man stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?". Ethel fished around in her handbag on her lap and pulled out a Kit-Kat wrapper which she held up to him. "OK," he said and she went on her way. Taking the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, another man stepped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Do you have proof of insurance for your vehicle madam?" Ethel dug into her handbag again and pulled out a beer-mat which she held up to him and he allowed her to carry on. Going down the final corridor before the front door, a third man stepped out in front of her. This one was stark naked and was holding a sizable erection in his hand. "Oh no", said Ethel, "Not the breathalyser again!"