The Womans Handbook - about Men... Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember that you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse. Never let your man's mind wander - its too small to be left out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. A man who can dress himself without looking like PeeWee Herman is unquestionably gay.

Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny. Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his. If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing. When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar.

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