Keeping Them Straight A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which.

A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush.

The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's tail.

Our blonde friend was stuck again. The neighbor then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart.

The neighbor then suggested that she measure the horses for height.

When she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one. Norman and his blonde wife live in Calgary.

One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 centimeters of snow today.

You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 centimeters of snow today.

You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 centimeters of snow today.

You must park.......... "then the electric power goes out. Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?" Dining out one evening, I noticed six teenagers boisterously celebrating some event at a nearby table.

Toward their end of their meal, one of them, a blond, got up and produced a camera. "Hey, wait a minute, " one of her companions said. "You have to be in the picture too." When I approached and asked if I could help, the girl who owned the camera was delighted. I snapped a picture of the group and then, being unfamiliar with the camera, I asked her, "Do you want me to take another in case that one doesn't come out?" "Oh, no, that's okay, " the blond girl chirped innocently.

"I always get double prints." In our town we have a regional mall that is two stories tall with an escalator. There was a near tragedy the day before yesterday when there was a power outage in the area, and nine blondes were stuck on the escalator for almost five hours. As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a blond asked the stewardess: "What's that stuff on those hills?" "Just snow, " replied the stewardess.

"That's what I thought, " said the blond, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece.

" Q: Have you heard about the blond parachute? A: It opens on impact. In a physics lab course, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class...

At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so: "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell silent until one blond young man raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Bud?" Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young blond father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so, " the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming with plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our friends." "I don't mean that, " the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure, " came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey." Amy, a blonde, was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important doctors appointment and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up toward heaven, she said "Lord, take pity on me.

If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up margaritas.

" Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Amy looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one.

"