Or those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions and culture a Name: Stage name: Agent: Attorney: Sex: male female formerly male formerly female both If female, indicate breast implant size: Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes No Please list brand of cell phone: . If you don't own a cell phone, please explain: Please check hair color: Females: Blonde Platinum Blonde Teenagers: Purple Blue Skinhead Please check activities you perform while driving: Check all that apply Eating Applying make-up Talking on the phone Slapping kids in the back-seat Applying cellulite treatment to thighs Tanning x Snorting cocaine already checked for ease of application Watching TV Reading Variety Surfing the net via laptop Please indicate how many times: a you expect to shoot at other drivers b how many times you expect to be shot at while driving If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately: a Call the police to report the crime b Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase c Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through d Call your therapist e None of the above South Central residents only In the event of an earthquake, should you: a stop your car b keep driving and hope for the best c immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones d pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4 In the instance of rain, you should: a decelerate by 5 mph b drive twice as fast as usual c you're not sure what "rain" is Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: . Are you presently taking any of the following medications? a Prozac b Zovirax c Lithium d Zanax e Valium f Zoloft If none, please explain: .

Length of daily commute: a 1 hour b 2 hours c 3 hours d 4 hours or more When stopped by police, should you: a pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready b try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway c have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.