There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husbands habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in the morning.

He told her that he couldnt help it.

She begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done but the husband would not hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function and then he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didnt stop, he was one day going to fart his guts out. The years went by and the wife continued to suffer and the husband continued to ignore her warnings about farting his guts out until one Thanksgiving morning. Before dawn the wife went downstairs to prepare the family feast.

She fixed pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, gravy, and of course a turkey. While she was taking out the turkeys innards, a thought occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husbands problem. With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts into a bowl and quietly walked upstairs hours before her flatulent husband would awake. While he was soundly asleep, she gently pulled back her husbands jockey shorts. She then place the turkey guts into his underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers, and tiptoed back downstairs to finish preparing the family meal.

Several hours later she heard her husband awake with his normal loud bull trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the frantic footsteps as her husband ran to the bathroom.

The wife could not control herself and her eyes began to tear up as she rolled on the floor laughing. After years of putting up with him she had finally gotten even.

About twenty minutes later her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror in his eyes.

She bit her lip to keep from laughing and she asked him what was the matter. He said, Honey you were right-all those years you warned me and I didnt listen to you. What do you mean? asked his wife. Well, you always told me that I would end up farting my guts out one of these days and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God and these two fingers, I think I got them all back in.