A bartender is lazily polishing a glass when he hears a very faint, very high pitched voice behind him at the bar.."Can i get a pint of lager, please" the voice squeaked.

"Sure thing" the bartender turns and is confronted by the site of a normal human body, but the guys head is a bout the size of an orange... "Not taking his eyes of this sight, the bartender pours the man his drink and says "On the house, my friend...

I'm intrigued, can I ask why is it that you have a normal body and such a small head?" The squeaky reply comes "Well, yesterday I was enjoying a walk along the beach, when I found a woman lying half in half out the surf...

I began to drag her up on the beach, thinking she had drowned when I realised that she had a fishes anatomy from the waist down, now this was obviously a mermaid, so I put her back in the water and swished her back and forth, and she eventually revived.

" "Wow" said the bartender "What happened next?" "Well she thanked me for saving her life and granted me three wishes, so for my first wish I asked for an attache case stuffed full of legitimate money and no matter how much I took out, when I close and re-open the case it's always full again..she clicked her fingers and it appeared beside me, and sure enough every time I emptied it, it magically filled again" "Good one mate" said the barman "And your next wish?" "Well" the squeaky voiced individual continued " Ive always been concerned that my p***s was meebee a tad small, so i asked her to give me a bigger p***s, 8" long and 6" thick..she clicked her fingers and sure enough I had myself a member to be proud of" "Fantastic" said the barman, "Go on" "Well" he squeaked "I had all the money I could ever wish for, and a big p***s, so for my third wish I said "I wish i could have sex with you, you lovely sea creature.."" "Bloody hell" said the barman "what happened then mate?" "She said "DON'T BE BLOODY SILLY MAN, IM FISH FROM THE WAIST DOWN, WE CANT COPULATE!" So I said "O.K.

then, how about giving me a little head, she clicked her fingers..."