One Saturday I was running errands for my wife.

I had gone to Wal-Mart and was standing in line waiting to buy a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever. A woman behind me looking at the bag, asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital. I said no....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.