A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry, " she said, "stand in the corner.

" She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you, " she said, " pretend you're a statue." "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a statue, " she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here, " he said to the statue, have this.

I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.

"