It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbors newspaper that's the time to do it. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

If you lend someone 20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. When someone says, 'Do you want my opinion?' it is always a negative one.

The word 'listen' contains the same letters as the word 'silent'. The trouble with work is - it's so daily. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. Scientists say one out of even four people is crazy. Check three friends - if they are OK, you're it. Pain and suffering is inevitable but misery is optional.