OK, this one's really gross... A sailor had just come back from shore leave and he went to a whorehouse. Unfortunately, it was a Saturday and the guy was told that there was only one hooker left, an 85-year old woman.

Well he figured some sex is better than no sex so he agrees. She takes him to a room and has him turn off all the lights.

They start to go and he can see right off the bat that this isn't going well. He stops and says it's not good and the 85 year old says she knows the problem and will fix it. She goes to the bathroom for a few minutes and comes back out. She turns the light off and they start to have sex again and it's the best sex of his life! After it's over he asks, "What did you do in the bathroom to make the sex so much better?" To which she replies, "I picked all my scabs and let them ooze!" ....

told you!