A 40 year old man, who was still a virgin, received some terrible news from his doctor.

He was told that he had only a few months left. Not wanting to die as a virgin, he decided to visit the local cat house. The Madam of the house informed him that there were only three girls available to service him.

One was bitterly ugly, the next was extremely old, and the last was extremely heavy. After pondering this information, he requested that he be allowed to see each of them before he decides and the Madam agrees. When he seen the first, he was filled with terror and quickly moved on to the next. This one reminded him of his great, great grandmother so there was no way that this would work.

Lastly, he seen the extremely heavy lady. She was laying on her bed with magazines spread all over the place and eating a pop-sickle. The man looked and said well, this is better than nothing, I'll just find some way to distract myself. He entered the room and they quickly engaged in a 69 position with her on top of him. His face was buried in her back-side. As she was giving him head, she heard his muffled voice ask: did you know that the SR-71 could fly faster than a bullet? Without removing his p***s from her mouth, in a garbled manner she replied: mno. I didmnt.

They continued and again she heard him ask: did you know that the SR-71 could fly into space? Again she replied: mno, I didmnt. They continued a little more and the man asked yet another question: did you know that the SR-71 could fly from coast to coast in one hour? Now the woman became very curious and replied by picking her had up and asking him: what are you, a pilot? No, the man replied, you have a Readers Digest stuck to your ass.