Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny...

If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. My favorite! Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you 200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30.00? Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Dept. of Agriculture in charge of Immigration. 'Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.

What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow.